


In the End

by scruffandyarn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2014!Dean is a dick, Canon drug use, Canon-Typical Violence, Cas is a bit forceful but he stops once consent is denied, F/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 17:29:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3390110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scruffandyarn/pseuds/scruffandyarn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've been sent forward in time to 2014 with Dean for some sort of effed up lesson Zachariah, douche-of-the-lord, wants you to learn.<br/>*request from tumblr*</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the End

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wanted this to end on a sadder note, but I decided, on a whim, to end it this way instead. I suppose, if anyone is interested, I could put an alternate ending.

“Dean!  Look—oh shit.” You watched as Dean was knocked out by…Dean?

“______?” The Dean in the army-green jacket stared at you down the barrel of his gun.  “No.  Who are you?”

“Dean?  God, you look just like him.  Are you Dean of the future?”  

.

You weren’t sure where to begin trying to explain what was happening.  All you knew was that you had stopped by Dean’s motel room to try and figure out what was going on between him and his brother.  The next thing you were aware of was that you were running alongside Dean, being chased by people who were then being slaughtered by soldiers.  Everything around you, buildings, cars, streets—all of it was in ruins.

 _Croatoan_.

Followed by a cryptic car ride in which Zachariah, the douche of the Lord, popped in to tell Dean that this was how the world was going to end up if he didn’t say yes, and to inform you that your presence hadn’t been intentional, but he thought it would be a good idea—since you were here anyway—to see just what your influence had done.  Whatever the hell that meant.

And now…

.

“I will ask you one more time, then I’m putting a bullet between your eyes.  Who the fuck are you?”  You weren’t sure if you should put your hands up or not, but you also weren’t sure if any movement would trigger him to shoot you.

“Dean, it’s me, ______.  I know it’s kind of hard to believe, but that guy is—”

“Hard to believe?”  He barked out a sardonic laugh.  “You’re kidding me, right?  I come out to patrol for Croats, only to stumble across my freaking clone, and ______, but it can’t be ______, because she’s been fucking dead for years.”

“What?” You were dead?  His statement, and the callousness in which he’d said it, caught you completely off-guard.

“That’s right, she’s dead.  Been dead.  So I don’t know what you are, but I know it can’t be anything good.”  He pulled the hammer back on his gun.

“Wait!  No, I can prove I’m me.  Ask me anything that only I would know.”

He stared at you for several long, tense moments, studying you, before he spoke again.  “Let’s see…I could ask you her birthdate, but it’s on her headstone, so that would be too easy.”

“My…I have a headstone?”

“What was the very first thing we hunted together?”

You shook off your feelings about having a headstone—whatever those feelings were, you didn’t have time for them now.  “That’s easy, too.  We were hunting a werewolf.  Sam bailed early, and I called him a wimp, until you told me about Madison.  He stayed away from me for three days, and I felt so bad about it that I decided to head off on my own.”

“Yeah, until we found you a month later, and had to rescue your sorry ass.”

You glared at him.  “I was doing fine on my own.”

“Bullshit.  That djinn had you strung up and about an hour away from dying.”  He was exaggerating, and you knew that for sure.  But why the hell was he giving you grief over something that had happened so long ago?

“Yeah, well, you guys still took me with you after that.”

“The only way to make sure you stayed breathing.”  Finally, he lowered his gun.  “Shit, ______.  How the hell are you here?”

“Zachariah, I guess.” You frowned.  “But…I’m dead now?”

“When did he pick you up?”  You cocked your head to the side.  “When is it, for you?”

“2009.”

“Well, welcome to 2014.” He was mocking you.  “Lucifer killed you.  Not too long after he got Sam.”

“Sam’s dead, too?”  Oh, shit.  No wonder this Dean was even more sour and jaded than the one you’d come with.  “I’m so—”

“Save it.  You and…my twin, here, are going to have to stay outta sight.  Zachariah obviously sent you here for a reason, but there’s too many people here who would freak out at seeing two of me and even just one of you.”  You nodded and watched as Dean lifted his younger version up, hefting him over his shoulder, and headed off towards what looked to be more like a place for summer camp than anything else.  “I haven’t got all night.” He snapped and you hurried after him.

.

“Do you really need to cuff both of us to this?”  

Future-Dean had surprised you by cuffing Dean to a post.  He’d caught you even more off-guard when he’d grabbed you and cuffed you to it, as well.

“Can’t risk you wandering out of this cabin.”

“Dean—come on.” You jerked your arm, getting angry at the clang of metal on metal.  “I haven’t done anything.”  You glared at him while he removed all of his doppelganger’s lock picks.  “This isn’t fair.  All I wanted was to try and help you patch things up with Sam.  Cas said—”

“Under no circumstances are you to find Cas in this time period.” Future-Dean was in your face.  “You will not speak to him.  You will not see him.  You will not let him see you.  Do you understand?”

“OK, now you’re freaking me out even worse than before.”

“It’s bad enough that he gave up after you died.  I can’t afford to lose him as back up if he were to see you now.”  

You frowned as he began patting you down for lock picks.  “What do you mean, gave up?”

“I mean Cas isn’t Cas anymore.  At least, not how you know him.”  He finally stood up after removing the picks you kept in your jacket lapel and your sock.  “I’ll be back before nightfall.”

You watched him leave the cabin, noting that the sun was just beginning to light up the world outside of your prison.

“Dean!” you hissed, jabbing Dean’s side.  He groaned, but began to blink.  “Future you fucking cuffed us to this banister.  Wake up and help me figure out how we’re gonna get loose.”

“What?”

You sighed, realizing he didn’t know what had happened.  “Future you found you snooping around Baby and knocked you out.” You always knew his obsession with his car was going to screw him over one day.  Too bad it had to screw you over as well.  “He’s got both of us cuffed to keep from seeing anyone.  Apparently, I’m dead and so is Sam.”

“Sam?”

You nodded.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.  We need to get loose and figure out what the hell is going on.”

Dean shook off his stupor and the two of you looked around for something you could use to unlock your cuffs.

“Ha!” Dean said after a few minutes, holding up a nail he’d pried from one of the floor boards.  He quickly undid his own bindings before turning to you.  “Look, ______—if you’re dead in this time, maybe it would be a good idea—”

“Dean Winchester, I swear on fuck all if you do not let me out of this, I will murder you.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile before darting out of the cabin, taking his stupid nail with him.

“I’m going to strangle that SOB!” You fumed silently for several minutes after his departure.

Suddenly, it hit you.  

With practiced ease, you reached behind you and unclasped your bra.  Getting it off while dressed was trickier, but still doable.  Once it was off your free arm, you pulled it half-out the top of your jacket and shirt.  You used your teeth to pull at the threads and managed to push out the underwire.  The metal wire made quick work of the cuffs.  As soon as you were free, you readjusted your clothes so everything was back where it was supposed to be.

Then, you were off.

.

“I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I’m sorry, no dice.”

You were peering in through the window of a cabin, watching Cas and Dean—the Dean from your timeline.  But Cas—he looked so hollow and vacant.  You whimpered, your heart breaking at the sight of him.

“Are you stoned?”

“Generally, yeah.”

“What happened to you?”

“Life.  Death.  The whole shebang.”

You couldn’t watch anymore, so you turned to find a place to go, maybe a quiet place to think, only to run into Chuck.  The prophet’s eyes widened in shock.

“No.  No, no, no.  You—you’re—you’re dead.  Oh, shit.  Maybe I’m dead.”  He reached over and pinched his own arm.  “Ow.”

“Chuck—Chuck, I need you to calm down for a second.”  His breathing quickened.  “Relax.  Please?  I know I’m not supposed to be here—”

“You’re dead.  Are you haunting me?  Is this a ghost?”  You reached out and grabbed his shoulders, trying to calm him.  He screamed.

“Shit.”  You grabbed him and shoved him up against Cas’s cabin and covered his mouth with your hand.  You glanced around—thankfully, no one had been alerted by Chuck’s shout.  “Shut up, Chuck.  I’m not a ghost.  One of the angels sent me forward five years.  I’m past me, OK?  I’m not a ghost.  I’m not a Croat.  I’m just ______.”  His eyes were wide once more.  “Now, do you think I can take my hand off your mouth without you screaming again?”

He nodded.

“OK.”  You dropped your hands to your side and stepped back.  The next instant, you were engulfed in a hug.  “Hey, Chuck.”  He released you after a few moments.

“Oh, ______.  I can’t believe you’re here.  Have you seen Cas yet?”  You thoughts went to the group of women you’d just seen him with and nodded grimly.  “What about Dean?”

“Too much of that asshole.”  Both the Dean of the future and the one of your own timeline had left you cuffed to a fucking post.  Apparently, he was a jackass and always would be.

But, then again, based on Chuck’s reaction to seeing you, maybe they had been right to leave you locked up.

“Look, I’m gonna go find a place to hide out until I figure out what Zachariah is expecting from me.  Don’t—don’t tell anyone you’ve seen me, OK?”

“Sure.”

You smiled, but your heart wasn’t in it.  “Thanks.”

“It’s good to see you again, ______.”

.

From your hiding place in Baby’s hollowed out shell, you heard Dean yell.  You couldn’t tell which Dean it was, so you looked out just in time to see future-Dean shoot a man in the head.  After swallowing your horror, you rolled your eyes at the oh-so-eloquent spiel Future-Dean gave to explain what had just happened.

Then you saw Cas step out of his cabin—surprisingly, alone.  You’d heard him say something about an orgy or whatever.  It broke your heart to hear the angel you loved be so flippant about sex.  You just needed to keep reminding yourself that, to him, you’d been dead for years.  He didn’t owe you any explanation for his behavior.

But why was he alone now?

.

You kept your distance behind the double-trouble twins as you followed them to the cabin you’d escaped from.  Future-Dean was manhandling Dean, up until the door was opened, and they both swore.

“You said you left her in here!”

“Idid!”

“Fuck.”  Future-Dean ran a hand down his face.  “My guess is she’s gone to Cas.  Damn it.”

“Cas looked a bit busy—what with the orgy he had going on when I went in.”  Dean commented.  “What’s with that, anyway?  When did he—”

“Lose his fucking mind?”  Dean nodded, so Future-Dean continued. “The day we burned ______’s body.”

That couldn’t be right.  

Yeah, the two of you had been dancing around your obvious attraction to each other for a while, but your relationship with Cas had only just started spilling over from friends to something more.  You knew in your heart that you were in love with the quirky angel with the blue eyes, but there’s no way he would have been that torn up by your death.  

“The other angels bailed, but the fool gave it up to be human—to be with her.  When she died, the idiot tried to off himself, but I—we—somehow managed to convince him that his death wasn’t what she would have wanted.  So he stayed.  Now, he’s probably hoping he’ll join her whenever he bites it.”

“Shit.”  Dean bit his lip, pondering.  “Maybe she hasn’t found him yet.  I’d be willing to bet there’d be some sort of commotion if she had.”

“Alright.” Future-Dean sighed angrily.  “Everyone already knows about you, so you can help me look.  Don’t let anyone know she’s here.”

“I’m not stupid.”  Future-Dean fixed Dean with a glare that clearly conveyed that he thought otherwise.

.

You stayed in the shadows as you followed Future-Dean in his search for you.  Strength wasn’t your best weapon—stealth had always been how you’d stayed alive in the hunting world.  Dean would have known that, which is precisely why you weren’t following him.  He would have figured out what you were doing too quickly.  Future-Dean must have forgotten just how good you were at evading detection in the years since your death.

It was about ten minutes into the search, when Future-Dean ran into Cas on his way back through camp.  “Cas…have you seen—”

“Past you?” Cas pointed off to the left.  

You looked to see Dean walking towards the two men, his brow furrowed in frustration—probably in his inability to locate you.  Score one for your team.

“Did you…?”  Future-Dean asked.  Dean shook his head.

“What?” Cas asked, looking between the two Deans.

“Nothing.”  Future-Dean growled and stalked towards his cabin.

Dean frowned at his future-self’s abrasive behavior.  “It’s nothing, Cas.  Don’t worry about it, alright?”

“You smell like her.  Like she used to smell.” Cas bit his lip. “It’s not strong, but I can still…” He closed his eyes.  “When you get back to your own timeline, would you—would you tell her I miss her?  Everyday, it’s like I wake up and there’s this hole,” he opened his eyes and pointed to his chest, “and I can’t breathe right when she’s not there, waking up next to me.  Could you just…make sure she knows I still…make sure past me…”

The only reason you didn’t leave your hiding place and run over to comfort Cas was that you didn’t want to cause him any more pain than he was feeling already.  Future-Dean said Cas had been hurt so badly when you died.  What would it do to him to see you again only to be ripped away from him whenever Zachariah decided you’d learned whatever lesson he’d brought you here for?

Watching him, though, trying to work through being reminded of you, it was like your heart had deflated in your chest.  In all your time with him, he had never seemed so broken as he did right then.

“Do you understand now, why I didn’t want you to see him?”  Future-Dean had snuck up on you while your attention had been on Cas.  

Maybe he hadn’t completely forgotten your habits.

“I didn’t—why?  Why is he so broken up over me?”

He didn’t answer.  Instead, he grabbed your arm and dragged you out of the shadows.  Once you realized what he was planning on doing, you began to struggle, but his grip only tightened.

“Looks like we’ve got two time-travelers on our hands.” He jerked you forward so that you stumbled up to Dean and Cas.  Dean looked from you to his future-self, glaring at his other version with a malice you hadn’t seen on his face in the longest time.  Apparently neither one of you could believe Future-Dean had just exposed you to Cas, knowing full well what seeing you would do to him.

“______.” Cas’s voice was little more than a whisper.  He stared at you for several long moments before striding to you and crushing you in an embrace.  

He held you, pressed to him, as if he was afraid you’d disappear if he released you.  It was a little awkward for you, as your hands were trapped at your sides, thanks to his hold.  But you leaned into him, all the same, sensing that he needed some sort of comfort.

It wasn’t until you felt him tremble that you realized he was crying.

“Cas?”

He sucked in a sharp breath and loosened his grip just enough that you could lean back and look at him.  “Is this real?  Or am I high?”  He looked over to Future-Dean for some sort of confirmation.

“You’re just—” you started, thinking you had an out—maybe if you convinced him he was just out of his mind on drugs, it wouldn’t hurt him too badly.

“Oh, she’s really here.  And she’ll be gone as soon as Zach’s done with her.”  Future-Dean made you want to stab something.  Preferably him.  “So, make sure to stock up on plenty of Absinthe for when she’s yanked from you, yet again.”

“Fuck you!”  You jerked out of Cas’s grasp and spun around, feeling a sweet ache burst through your hand as your knuckles connected with Future-Dean’s cheek.  You balled up your other fist, but Cas had grabbed both of your arms, holding you back.  “I don’t give a shit what you’ve been through, there is no reason to be this fucking cruel.”

Future-Dean touched his fingers to his cheek before spitting on the ground at your feet.  You noticed it was red—good.  He deserved to bleed for being such a heartless bastard.  “Get her out of here before I decide to use her as bait.”

That killed the fire in you.  Cas and Dean escorted you quickly over to Cas’s cabin.

.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Cas said meekly as he bandaged your now swollen hand.  Still, he looked over at you, a smile playing on his lips.

“He was being a dick.” Dean flexed his own hands, as if he’d wished he’d been the one to punch his future self.  “But Cas is right.  You should have stayed in the cuffs.”

“Cuffs?” Cas looked up, alarmed.

Dean looked to you for help.  He was at a loss on how to explain to Cas why you’d been cuffed and locked up.

“Cas, why?”  He looked over to you, confusion clear.  “Why all the drugs and the alcohol and…the orgies?”  He had the presence of mind to blush and hang his head, resuming his work on your hand.  “Dean, could you give us a bit?”

“Yeah.  I’ll go have a word with the toothless wonder out there.” You smiled up at Dean who just shook his head at you as he left.

“Cas—talk to me.  Please?”

He stilled his movements and sat silently, staring at your hand.  “He’s right.”

“Who?”

“Dean—this Dean, not the one who came with you.” He finally lifted his head to look at you.  “I can’t—I can’t go through this again.  You’re going to leave me again and I—I just can’t.”  He stood up abruptly and walked out of the cabin without saying anything more.

.

“Chuck?”  

You wanted to give Cas some time, but an hour had passed, and you needed to set things right between you and him.  You’d gone looking for him, but hadn’t had any luck in locating him.  You had stumbled across Chuck, and you hoped he could point you in the right direction.

“Hey, uh ______…h-how’s the hand?”

You lifted your bandaged hand.  “I’ve had worse.”  Which was the wrong thing to say—considering that you were dead in this time period.  You knew it as soon as you saw him pale.

“That—don’t say that.” He shook his head, frowning.

“Why?”  There was something more to his reaction than just the fact that you’d died.

“That was—that was what you said when…when S-Lucifer—don’t say that.”  Shit.  You couldn’t have screwed this day up any more if you’d actually tried

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t know.” He nodded, but he couldn’t make eye-contact with you.  “Have you seen Cas?”

“Yeah.” He turned and pointed out into the woods beyond the camp’s clearing.  “He’s got a spot out there where he goes sometimes.”

“He just goes out into the woods?  When there’s Croats wandering around?”  Was no one concerned about the carelessness?

Chuck shrugged.  “It’s not very far out.”

“Thanks.”  You headed off in the direction he’d pointed.

.

Sure enough, about ten meters out, you found a little spot devoid of trees—and there was Cas, sitting cross-legged and staring ahead.  You held back from approaching him, as he seemed to be talking to someone, although, from your position behind him, you couldn’t see who he was talking to.

“…don’t know what to do.” He sniffled, letting you know he was crying.  “She’s here—and that’s all I’ve wanted for so long.  But she’ll leave me again.  This is—it’s so hard, ______.  What am I supposed to do?”

He was talking to you, only he wasn’t.  If he’d been an angel, he would have already known of your presence behind him.  But this Cas—he was human, and you were not easily detected.  So why was he talking to you?

“Dean’s called a meeting.  Says he’s got a plan.  We’re finally gonna kill him, ______.” He sighed.  “Actually, I’d be OK if this is my last stand.  I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s where I’m at.  Seeing her today, holding her—I miss you so much.”

“Cas?”

“______!” Cas was on his feet as you stepped into the clearing, wiping his eyes.  You could finally see who—what—Cas had been talking to.  A headstone.  “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Is—is that mine?”

He nodded.  “We didn’t bury you.”

“I know.  Dean told me I got the hunter’s send-off.” You stepped closer, and he, thankfully, didn’t back away from you.  “But I have a headstone.”

“I needed something—something I could see and touch—something that would never let me forget you, no matter what.”

“Is that why you take all those drugs?  To forget?”

“I just—it hurts, so bad.  I can’t bring you back.  I can’t—I can’t…” He started crying again, and you wasted no time in wrapping your arms around him.  

You weren’t sure what made you say it.  You had been holding Cas for several minutes, just letting him release all his heartache.  But you wanted to offer him more comfort.  Maybe that’s why you opened your mouth and said, “I love you, Cas.”

Instantly, you found yourself pressed against a nearby tree, Cas’s mouth against yours.  There was nothing gentle in the way he worked your mouth open, forcing his tongue inside, nor in the way one hand tangled and tugged your hair while the fingers of the other dug into your thigh.

Back in your own timeline, you had often thought of what it would be like…to be with Cas.  But your fantasies had never been this rough or demanding or with the taste of alcohol on his breath.  

When you felt him grind his erection against your leg, you knew this had to stop.  You tried to shove against him, but you didn’t have the leverage to do so.  He pushed you against the tree with his full weight and you felt the sting of bark scraping you through your clothes.  He released your hair only to yank both of your legs up and around his waist, pinning you to the tree.

“Cas…Cas, stop.” Now that he no longer had a grip on your hair, you were able to turn your head away from him.  He immediately released you and you barely had enough time to get your legs under you again.

“You can’t—don’t say that.  You can’t love me…not like this.  Not like I am.”

“You mean, because of the drugs and the orgies?”  

You were still a little shaken by how forceful he’d been.  This wasn’t the angel you fell in love with.  

And yet, he was.  He was still that warrior—maybe not of the Lord, but still fierce.  Still wanting to do what was right.  Still lost and looking for something.  Only this time, that something was you.

“This is who I am now, because of you.  Because you’re not here.  What the hell do I have to live for if you’re not here?”

“Cas—”

“No, ______.  If you were still alive, you would hate how I am now.  You would hate to see what I’ve become.” He was raging, trying to scare you off.  It only made you want to reach out to him more.  “And tomorrow, when Dean sends us off to get killed, I am going to die knowing that I’ll never see you from the depths of hell I’ll be cast into.”

You grabbed him by the shoulders and refused to let him shake off your grip.  “Stop it!  Stop it, Cas!”  You watched the anger fade from his eyes, only to be replaced by an overwhelming sadness.

“Let me go, ______.” He pleaded—and not just about your physical hold on him.  “Don’t make me fall in love with you.  Don’t make me want to give up everything to be with you.  Because I will never get to be with you again.”

With that he walked away, disappearing into the trees, leaving you with a profound sense of loss.

.

The roar of engines woke you from your fitful sleep.  You sat up quickly, grimacing when you smacked your head on Baby’s roof.  Baby’s back seat had been a source of familiar comfort the night before, when Cas had left you reeling from his pleas.

Scrambling out of the car, you stood up just in time to see several vehicles speed past you.  This had to be Future-Dean’s big hunt.  And you needed to be there.

.

“Chuck!”

“I’m sorry, ______, I can’t tell you where they’re going.”  He hurried off, but you ran after him.

“Chuck, please.  I need to be there.”

“Cas specifically told me not to tell you.”  He tried to turn, but you grabbed his arm.  “Please, don’t.  I don’t want to be caught in the middle of this.”

“Chuck, if you don’t tell me where he’s at, I guarantee Cas won’t be returning for you to be caught in the middle of anything.  He’s treating this as his last run.”

He stared at you for a moment, and you started getting antsy, needing to be on your way after Cas.  “You still love him?  I mean, even after—I mean, you’ve seen how he is now.”

“I know.”  You nodded.  “But yeah.  I still love him.  I’m not gonna stop just because he’s changed a little.  He’s still Cas, underneath all of that.”

“You could get killed if you go after him.”

The corners of your mouth lifted a bit.  “Thought crossed my mind.”

“That’s how you died.  You know—before.  You were saving him.  Pushed him out of the way of Lucifer’s blast.”

Surprisingly, hearing him say that didn’t make you uncomfortable the way the other discussions of your death had.  “Good.”

That seemed to get to him.  “Alright.” He nodded.  “But don’t tell him I told you.”

“Promise.”

“And ______, no matter what he’s told you, no matter what you do when you get back to your own time, he’s going to love you.  He’s going to give it up for you, happily.  Let him be happy for as long as you can.”

.

By the time you finally caught up with them, Dean was alone, sprawled out on the ground near the abandoned vehicles.  You checked and were relieved to find he had a pulse, although the bruise on his forehead gave you pause.

Why would they have knocked him out?  Unless he was planning on trying to stop this crazy mission.  Because it wasn’t just a suicide run for Cas.  This was something more than that.

Gunfire began to erupt from the warehouse in front of you.  Shit.

“Dean!” you hissed, shaking him.  “Dean, wake the fuck up.”

“Wha—______?  What are you doing here?”  

“I followed you guys.  I can’t…I can’t let Cas use this as his way out.”

“This isn’t just—Dean—me—” he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.  “Future me is using this…he’s sacrificing them.”

“Fuck.”  He nodded and pushed himself up from the ground.  “Remind me not to die in the future so I can kick your ass if you ever actually do pull something like this.”

“Definitely.”

Crouching low, the two of you headed in the direction of the warehouse.  Dean nodded to you then to the side.  He wanted you to go around back.

“He’s in there, Dean.  I can’t—I won’t leave him again.”

Dean sighed, then headed around back.  Taking a deep breath, you squared your shoulders, and headed in the front.

.

Bodies were everywhere.  The firing had stopped, but still, you stayed low, not wanting to draw any attention to yourself, just in case.  You crept along, not seeing any movement.  You weren’t sure if this was a good thing or not.

Your heart sank lower the further you went.  What if Cas was already dead?  You needed to set things right between the two of you before… Fuck, it hurt to even think about not having him in your life.

“______?”

There he was, slumped against a wall, a blossom of red sprouting across the front of his shirt.  Ignoring the voice in your head that insisted you needed to stay out of sight, you ran to him, doing your best to avoid tripping over the bodies that were strewn across the floor.

“Oh, fuck, Cas…” You dropped to your knees, eyes darting over him, trying to figure out what to do to stop the bleeding.  “Is it just your side?”

He nodded and winced as he tried to push himself into a sitting position.

“Stop moving, you idiot.”  You yanked your jacket off and balled it up before pressing it against his wound.  “Shit, Cas, I am so sorry.”

“You got—you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

Tears formed in your eyes and you couldn’t meet his gaze.  “I promise, Cas—if I get back to 2009—I’m not…I won’t…” You thought back to what Chuck had said, then ignored it.  You couldn’t let him end up like this—not if you could help it.  “I won’t let you give up being an angel for me.  You’re gonna go back to heaven with the other angels and stay safe.  I won’t let this happen to you.”

“______,” He lifted his hand and cupped your cheek, forcing you to make eye-contact.  “I lied.  Being with you—I’d do it all over again.” He coughed and gave you a weak, but honest smile.  “You—you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” He brushed the tears from your cheek with his thumb.  “I love you.  More than being an angel.  More than heaven.  You are my heaven.”

.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”

You jumped to your feet.  Cas had vanished, as had the warehouse and the bodies.  You were now in a very ornate looking room, complete with a long, decorative table.  At the far end of the table, sitting with his feet propped up, was Zachariah.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“Language, ______.” He smiled and you felt sick to your stomach.  “Now, what do you suppose this little lesson could have been about?”

“Screw you, asshole.”

He stood up and started circling around you.  “Castiel was a warrior of heaven.  He was meant to follow God’s orders.  He was never meant to follow you.”

“He didn’t follow me, jackass.  He fell in love with me.”  You ignored the pain in your hand as you flexed your fingers, itching to claw Zachariah’s eyes out.

“Ah, yes.  He fell in love with an insignificant little bug.  He could have gone on to do great things.  Could have led armies.  But no.  He had to go and fall—for you.”  

“And?”

“Don’t you think he could, oh, I don’t know, find something better to fall for?  I mean, if he absolutely has to give up being an all-powerful being, are you really worth giving all that up for?”

Self-doubt began to creep into your heart.  “No, I’m not.”

“See?  It’s nice when we all work together, isn’t it?  And here, I thought I’d have to bust out the ‘if you love him, let him go’ speech.”

“I’m not worth giving all that up for.  But Cas—he has the right to that choice.  Not me.  Not you.  So go fuck yourself.”

“You worthless little—”

.

“______?”

You opened your eyes to find Cas hovering over you, a worried look on his face.  “Cas?”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.  “Yes.  Are you alright?”

“What—what year is it?”

“It’s 2009 again, ______.” You turned your head to see Dean standing off to the side, leaning against the wall of his motel room.  The room you’d gone to when you’d been trying to fix things between him and Sam.  

How long ago had that been?  Fuck, it felt like a lifetime ago.

“How are you feeling?”  Cas leaned back, allowing you to sit up on the bed.  “And how did you hurt your hand?”

You looked down to see that your hand was still bandaged.  You’d forgotten all about it—what, with watching Cas as he was dying and then dealing with Zachariah’s douchiness.  Cas placed his hand over yours and the bandage was gone, as was the lingering pain.

“She punched a dick.” Dean filled him in.

“Hopefully, he won’t turn out that way.”  You smiled up at him.  Dean rolled his eyes, but returned your smile.  “Other than the hand, I think I’m OK.”

“And you’re gonna stay that way.  Because we’re going to find a safe house for the two of you on the nineteenth of July of next year.”

“That’s the day I…?”  Dean nodded.  Cas looked back and forth between the two of you, confused.  “Dean, can you give us a minute?”

“Yeah…I think I need to give Sam a call anyway.”  You sighed in relief—maybe everything would be OK after all.  

As soon as the door closed behind him, you turned back to Cas.

“Dean said you were sent with him.”

You turned your hand over so you could grasp his.  He looked at your joined hands and then back to your face.  The most adorably confused smile lit up his face.

“I was.  And it was…strange.  You were there.  So was Dean.  And Chuck.”

“Was it strange, seeing a future version of yourself?”

You shook your head.  “I—I wasn’t there.”  He tilted his head and you bit your lip.  “I died, Cas.  In the future Zachariah showed us, I had died.”  You watched him tense up, could feel it in the way he was holding your hand.  

“And next July—?”

“That’s the day I…die.”  Fuck, that felt so weird to say.

“Then you are most definitely going to be in a safe house that day.”

“And you’re going to be there with me.”  He opened his mouth to argue, but you leaned forward and kissed him.  His lack of response made you chuckle as you pulled back.  He stared at you as if you’d just grown another head.  “I love you, Cas, and you’re going to be there with me.  Because I’m always going to love you, no matter what you do, and I need both of us to be there in the future to prove it to you.”

“______—” his blush belied the sternness of his voice.  

“Just trust me on this, OK?”  His free hand lifted and cupped your cheek.  

He studied you for a moment before smiling.  “OK.”


End file.
